Today, is the death anniversary of Inay, and I am supposed to shed off my black dresses. Yet, I don't feel like doing so. There are many things I would like to mourn in this country -- loss of integrity of the vote, for one. Fake tax deduction for seniors, as we get 20@ discount, the stores charge us the evat. Give with the right, take with the left hands.

Then I helpe din the US elections through email. So many invites I received but with a condition -- to do this and that. Is this what you call friendship, much more so gratitude, with strings attached? I don't understand the world. It could be standing upside down.

feeling deep

Whenever I feel anxious, I know that I am entering a patriarchal situation, one where the men are in power, and will be controlling the discussions, and the actions in them. It is so funny, how I have even developed hyperacidity because of myr eaction or over reaction to such a situation.

Last week, I felt so anxious -- my activities pointed to my meeting with a very rich owner of a restaurant; another time, a meeting with a musicians' group; still another time, a meeting with a political party. It is so surprising that I don't have a women's group that I could say, would be my rap group.

Yes, having a rap group is important to every woman. It allows us to share our deepest feelings about how we are going on in this world. The last time I had one was many years ago. But at present, I have one woman that I can always turn to to give me a listening ear about many things that I am feeling through.

Yet, if we are going to assess the situation, Filipino male patriarchy is not that strong. In fact, some men are truly soft inside, as they are able to be sensitive to the feelings of others, with great speed.